Fragmented Thoughts

So, it's been one week since I promised that I would start writing more. Looks like I'm off to a good start...but really, I do have things to say! It's just a matter of getting myself to say it. This dilemma actually kind of plays into what I've been struggling with in the past week. I feel like I've been experiencing an identity crisis of sorts. It's pretty simple: the person I am right now is not the person I necessarily want to be...or could be...or maybe should be. I wish I could be a better musician and photographer. I wish I could read quicker than I currently do. I wish I could be a better writer. The list goes on. And the most frustrating part is that I know that I'm capable of achieving those goals, but things just don't seem to "click" in my mind. I want to do so much more than what my mind and body is currently doing! I feel like I can't focus when I need to, or want to.

Kind of like how I'm feeling right now. I know that I have a point, but it just feels so extremely difficult to make it clear! I don't know what God is doing with me right now, but a lot of things aren't making sense to me right now. It's just so hard to come up with ideas...about anything. I feel like I'm at a time in my life where there are so many possibilities, it almost seems like there are too many to handle. I don't know where to begin, and I feel like I have a hard time following through on them. I see a lot people my age who are already accomplishing a lot of great things both for themselves and for the glory of God. And I wish I could offer something like that as well. There's just so much more I want to do with my life, but I don't know where to start!


But before finishing this blog, I would like to address a few things that have come to my attention: 1) I realize that I've rambled a lot; 2) I am thankful for the opportunities I've been given already; and 3) I realize that I've used the pronoun "I" way too much (which may be an insight into the reason for my current crisis).

when it comes down to it, being content with myself has proven to be a difficult task. I have a lot of growing to do. Please God help me.